One Pairing to Rule Them All!
This month, for our Love and Passion theme, I decided to dive into the crazy world of shipping. For those not in the know, shipping, derived from the word “relationship”, is the desire by fans for two or more people, either real-life people (ew) or fictional characters, to have a relationship together. Shipping often influences all aspects of fan culture, including fanfiction and fan art, and can both make and break fandoms, as people dive headfirst into headcanons and theories, eagerly scrutinising their chosen media to prove that their ship is undeniably the best.
As you might expect from something so intertwined with fan culture, ships can be very very C H A O T I C. Often fans can have what is colloquially known as an OTP (a One True Pairing), a pairing of one or more characters which the fan ships above all else. A key feature of an OTP is the ship name, for example Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy’s ship name is Drarry. So, with this in mind I decided to rank the OTPs of the other Be Nothing Club members. This is a ranked list, and the members should be judged accordingly for their pairings.
Just guys being dude pals.
8. Dylan - Joey and Chandler (Friends)*
*Joey and Chandler don’t seem to have an accepted ship name which is sad because Chanoey and Jandler are great.
In Dylan’s own words “My OTP is Joey and Chandler, purely cos I'm watching Friends through for the first time”. I applaud Dylan for shipping Joey and Chandler together and it’s easy to see why. Their bromance is a cornerstone of Friends. However, when stacked against the other OTPs on this list, the pair just fall short. I feel Joey and Chandler work better as a BrOTP (a pair of friends who are destined to be BFFs forever). Now, if Dylan would have gone with the more chaotic and inspiring pairing of Ross and Joey then this ranking would have shot up the list. From the chaos of their love triangle with Rachel to The One With The Nap Partners, Ross and Joey is an OTP that really works.
That queerbait tho!
7. Kay - SamBucky (Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson from the MCU)
Kay believes in the inherent eroticism of best friends and rivals and while I agree with the concept (Naruto and Sasuke are GAY guys), Bucky and Sam just doesn’t work for me. Once again, I think this is more of a BrOTP. Sam and Bucky are clearly in love with the same man, Captain Steven Grant Rogers. United in love, rivals in love and friends in love; now that’s an OT3 (an OTP with three characters, remember this for later). Bucky and Sam can both be in love with Steve. Heck, even date him at the same time, but they cannot just date each other, and that’s that. Also, minus points for their ship name because Steve and Bucky are called Stucky and that’s frankly Pulitzer prize worthy.
MILF and DILF goals.
6. Kelsie - Mike and Susan (Desperate Housewives)*
*Mike and Susan also lack a ship name.
Kelsie has one of those rare OTPs that also happen to canonical. Yes, Mike and Susan were married in the show. Fans of Desperate Housewives will know where their story ultimately leads but with every good ship it’s not about the end game rather the journey. Forever the hopeless romantic, Susan was married twice (to the same man) before finding on and off again happiness with her technically second (and third and fourth) husband Mike. Even though Mike would ultimately leave Susan a widow, their journey is one which, while bumpy, was engaging nonetheless. You can’t beat the ghost of your dead husband watching you and the kids leave the house you lived in for greener pastures guys. That means you HAD TO HAVE BEEN IN LOVE!
I am in Spain without the S.
5. Casey - TenMartha (Martha Jones and the Doctor from Doctor Who)
By Casey’s own admission, she never really understood Rose and the Doctor, so I acknowledge this galaxy brain statement (pun intended). However, Casey clearly enjoys pain because that is all you’ll get from Martha and the Doctor. Let's be clear, Martha didn’t deserve the Doctor. Poor number Ten (technically eleven? Damn you Moffat!) was still simping after Rose and at times was just rude to poor Martha. Martha in turn was made into a simp for Ten often becoming nothing more than a poor shadow of Rose to the Doctor and fans alike. It’s a shame because Martha was a truly great companion, having gone through hell and back on multiple occasions for the Doctor. Martha deserved a lot more and ultimately, she knew this, deciding in the end to leave the Doctor. This in turn made Ten realize his errors but the damage had already been done. In a kinder universe (or with better writing ahem) Ten and Martha could have better foundations. However, there’s always room for the sadomasochistic shippers and TenMartha lands here. This one is for those poor fools whose OTP will NEVER be together!
I said gay because I saw gay.
4. Liam (me) - Dimileth (Dimitri and Male Byleth from Fire Emblem: Three Houses)
I’ve already waxed lyrically about why this pairing works, but essentially it is a true love story. The Blue Lions route was my second playthrough of Fire Emblem: Three Houses and I was wowed by its storyline and character moments. Playing as Male Byleth however left me distraught with the tension and romance I felt between my MC and Dimitri, so much so that I started reading fanfiction for the first time to get my kicks. Without writing an essay on the pair (because as I’ve mentioned, I already did), Male Byleth and Dimitri have a beautiful relationship built on shared trauma, friendship, and genuine passion. If you’re a fan of this ship like me I recommend reading the iconic fanfiction godspeed and also my personal favourite the Courtship of a Feral Prince.
Elmo burning meme.
3. Anna Mac - Carey Martin and Spencer Shay (The Suite Life of Zack and Cody and iCarly respectively)
Now this is what shipping is all about folks! The inherent chaos that exists in shipping two characters from different shows who have never interacted before is sheer insanity and that is exactly what OTPs are intended for. On paper, Carey and Spencer have a lot in common. Both must raise their younger relatives (Carey’s sons and Spencer’s sister) and put up with their chaotic antics. Carey likes to live in the moment and would never be bored with Spencer’s man child antics. While I am unsure if their relationship would last, it would definitely be a pairing for the ages!
The erotic tension between a sworn sword and their patron is *chefs kiss*.
2. Amy Louise - Zelink (Zelda and Link from the Legend of Zelda)
Amy has always been a long-term shipper of Zelda and Link. This partly comes from her love of TLOZ series but also because the ship just works. Zelink is a ship for the ages and one which has a mountain of content to back it up. What’s more romantic than consistently being reincarnated due to a curse placed on you by the prehistoric embodiment of demonic evil? (Play Skyward Sword you peasants!). While Nintendo insists that Link is only Zelda’s sworn protector, there’s an inherent yearning and eroticism that comes from being a sworn protector of the princess of your country since birth that no amount of retconning can erase.
All Hail the once and future King!
1. Liam (me) - Isabelle, Sable and Villager (Animal Crossing)
Listen, it’s my list and I get to decide what goes on it, so I get two picks. Anyways, remember the term OT3? I told you they would come back with a vengeance. Yes, that’s right, the number 1 spot is reserved for the OT3 of Isabelle, Sable and Villager (i.e. the player). It’s clear that Isabelle has a thing for the player and in turn players love Isabelle for her dedication, cheeriness and her unbeatable Smash moves. On the other hand, Sabel is a shy hedgehog tailor found in every Animal Crossing game. With New Horizons removing most of the content in favour of seasonal updates, meeting and eventually befriending Sable feels like a major narrative step in the game. It’s not hard to see the mutual affection that the player and Sable have for one another. For those questioning if these three can even be together, I would remind you that Shrek is shipped with Shadow the Hedgehog so back off. To that end a new OT3 is born, one to rule them all, IsaSabelager (the name is still in development!).
