He Got Us Through Those Nights
Daniel Howell, the man previously known as danisnotonfire, was the King of my Internet Adolescence. YouTube really became a major part of my life from Junior Cert onward (dear non-Irish readers, that means 15 years old). The videos of Charlie McDonnell, Louise Pentland and Phil Lester filled up my watch history, very often accompanied by Dan Howell’s, and were background noise to many of my teenage moments. While the other three’s videos were quite bright and bubbly, despite the tales of mishaps and misfortunes they might have been conveying, Dan’s videos were snarky, self-deprecating and witty, while still being as entertaining.
The channel ‘danisnotonfire’ was (and still is) filled with many relatable stories from his life, which for many is one of his main selling points. Depicted through funny skits and dry one-liners, the awkward coming-of-age stories Dan once told were very addictive to watch, simply for their ability to connect with the viewer, who more than likely was an awkward teen (in my case, at least). Sometimes, it’s very nice and very comforting to see someone else in the world who seems to be just as weird as you. It’s especially nice to see that they’re older, are quite successful and have lived to tell the tale of their adolescent agonies.
Now that I’m older and relatively more emotionally stable than I was when I was a something-teen (depending on the moment), I can truly appreciate what Dan’s videos did for me. While I watched his close friend Phil’s videos just as much, Phil’s videos were more of a pick-me-up, while Dan’s acted more as a healing balm - both incredibly good for my soul.
If you’re any bit aware of Daniel Howell, you’ll know that in the last few years he has begun to speak a lot more about two important aspects of his life: his sexuality and his mental health. Though I would really, really like to stress to all reading that speaking out about one’s mental health and sexuality should not be expected and that it is incredibly valid and okay for well-known people to keep schtum about all parts of their private lives. Dan being so open once again aided me as much as his videos did growing up. There is something very beautiful (and maybe a bit odd, but in a good way) about becoming more comfortable with yourself as a person at the same time as someone you have long since admired. Almost like coming full circle.
His struggles with his mental health make him even more relatable and easy to connect with. That’s why his latest venture, the book ‘You Will Get Through This Night’, makes perfect sense. Some books that provide tips and support for mental health can be in-personal and clinical, and sometimes that’s needed. But Howell’s book is different, as it marries together the sense of familiarity and safety that comes with being aware of the author or being a fan of him, with solid, concrete advice that has been collated with the support of a licensed mental health professional, Dr Heather Bolton. If you’ve never used a better-mental-health book before, this might be for you - especially when you know the words you read come from someone who has crawled through the same trenches.
And, as someone who has waded through the depths of the phandom for years, and has seen how Dan’s (and Phil’s!) videos have offered comfort to many of their viewers for years, a book like this can almost seem like getting help and support from a close friend.
I can’t go through the book in full, proper detail (that would probably defeat the purpose of you reading or buying it yourself) but I will go through some of the parts of the guide that really stood out to me.
The layout of the guide itself is very impactful, as it is divided into three sections: This Night, Tomorrow and The Days After That. Each corresponds to a different state of mental health, and by separating the sections, Dan has created something that is easy to use and filter through when needed.
All of the recommended ‘recovery’ methods or coping mechanisms are incredibly well-thought out and explained, and after reading the booking I realised some of them are ones I have been doing instinctively for many years, especially when dealing with bad anxiety. The explanations behind certain conditions or reactions are also well explained, enough for the everyday person to very easily understand.
Here’s a few things that I’m going to try and take on board, based on the book:
Dan mentions ‘zoning’ in ‘Tomorrow’, which is the idea of zoning an area - a house or even a room - for separate activities. I’m currently working from home (along with many others) and I really think zoning will help me in differentiating between my ‘work’ mind and my ‘off work’ mind.
‘Forest bathing’ - going outside and enjoying nature. I’m often indoors all day, without sunlight (hence why I am so pale compared to my family) and I’d like to enjoy the outdoor world more. Apparently, as a Taurus, it is very very good for me, also.
Upping my intake of fluids, specifically water. Water being good for you is always hammered into us, but it's something I can be really bad at maintaining - despite my many fancy glass water bottles.
Decreasing my snacking - reading this has made me realise that very often I eat and snack because I’m hungry, but sometimes I also do it because I’m sad or bored. By working towards having more filling meals, I’ll feel a lot better.
Being more open and vulnerable. I can overthink and stew over my emotions quite a bit, so learning to let go a little can only be a good thing.
If the book is something you might be interested in, I’d highly recommend it (though if you are in a state of crisis, please talk to a loved one or a professional). It’s not too wordy or heavy, and it’s the least intimidating and most helpful guide I’ve ever read for mental health.
Finally, I’d like to say thank you to Dan (who will never read this lol) for many years of laughs and virtual hugs (and way too much sexy end screen dancing…) and comfort during dark nights, and for using his platform to try and do something good for the world.
You can pick up Dan’s book at any good store, including Eason’s, Waterstones and Dubray Books.
You can find the man himself on Twitter, Instagram and (of course) YouTube.
If you are struggling with your mental health, please do not hesitate to reach out and seek help.
Some useful contacts are listed below:
Text TALK to 50808
Pieta House: 1800 247 247 or Text HELP to 51444
Samaritans: 116 123
Aware: 1800 80 48 48
Womens Aid: 1800 341 900
Let’s Get Talking Dublin: 01 456 9158
Let’s Get Talking Galway: 091 765 500
