Am I Me? Or Just My Favourite Books?

Words by Kayleigh Dunne

Reading is something I've not had the time to do much nowadays but growing up it was my favourite. I spent so many nights curled up on the chair in my living room following a character's adventure, or in my bedroom crying when my favourite character died.

While now I couldn't tell you the last book I read or enjoyed, reading shaped my childhood and teen years. It helped me grow and develop into my own person. It gave me something to use in my real life. If I saw a character be brave, it meant I could do that. If I saw a character cry and not be berated for it, I could too. Granted there's several characters that taught me snark in my personality, but hey, I wouldn't be me without a bit of snark and sarcasm, and I know exactly what characters you can blame for that.

So, with that, you're going to learn all about me through the books that walked alongside me as I learned about myself through my 25 years. I'm still learning about myself of course, and who knows! You might have great book recommendations that you'll think I would love once you figure out where my personality comes from!

We're going far back in time here to young Kay sitting in the living room, reading the most exciting book her eyes have ever seen.  

Matilda by Roald Dahl.

 SHE READ BOOKS. LIKE ME. And she had magic. My little 7-year-old brain was astounded! This was the first book I can remember reading properly, I can remember me sitting on a cushion soaking up Roald Dahl with wonder and curiosity. I think he would have been proud of that. I have nothing but happy memories with this book, it was the beginning of my journey, a romance that is still there today. (Yes, I still read Matilda and watch the film on a regular basis, they're both masterpieces.) This began my love of magic and things that could not be explained but are accepted. It was such a wonderful introduction to magic when I had that childlike wonder and belief. Some of which I still carry with me in other forms. I don't believe in the tooth fairy anymore but there are things that will never be explained, and I accept that. Sometimes you need a bit of wonder to get through life.

Roald Dahl seems to encompass a lot of my early reading. I remember being off sick from school once and reading 'The Twits' in one sitting, and excitingly telling my mother all the differences between the book 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' and the movie version. I was mind blown.

Another book series that detailed my childhood years were 'The Demon Headmaster series by Gillian Cross.' Those books were traumatic. I got them for a birthday one year, having no clue what they were about, read them and spent the next few weeks believing my primary school principal was out to get all the children in school. Never did I tell my mother about those books...but hey I behaved somewhat in school for a while.

Now we move on to the early teenage years of Kay. And we're entering teenage and young adult novels...I was VERY mature for my age. Not really but the covers looked cool and more grown up than what I read before I hit 11. I literally judged books by the covers here. And this was the prime time of the library, I had three library cards all for different libraries around the city and my weekends were usually spent taking out 5 to 10 books. I was wild. 

These were the formative years 12 - 16.

I read so many different genres during these ages, devouring everything that was on offer. Mostly I'd watch a film, love it, and realise it was an adaptation, then jog it down in my notebook to try to find in any of the libraries at my disposal.

The first book I remember crying to was ‘Marley and Me’ by John Grogan. That broke my little 13-year-old heart and still breaks my 25-year-old heart. An avid animal lover, that book just was special, it was written with such joy, love, and emotion that I don't know if my 13-year-old brain understood it fully, but I hugged my pets extra hard after reading that book.

With your teenage years, come many emotions. Some angst, some melancholy, and a lot of dramatics. All of these emotions were wrapped up into one neat book series for me.

 Angus, Thongs and Full-frontal Snogging by Louise Rennison.

This book series had it all to the mind of a teenage girl who hadn't kissed anyone. Cute boys, embarrassing encounters with said cute boys, navigating the world with your teenage brain, the roller coaster of emotions, it had it all. Why was the universe just always against you? The adults just don't get how you're feeling… they're lame and never had a life outside of their boring 9 to 5 jobs.

I was a moody teen, I would be lying if I said I wasn't, and this book series just appealed to me because of that. Georgia was like me, going through the world in her own way, trying to become popular or to get the boy. You know the important things when you are a young teenager. You automatically side with Georgia on hating 'Wet Lindsay' (As she is known in the books…) because she is the popular pretty girl with the rockstar boyfriend. Maturing is realising actually no, Lindsay was kind of the victim while Georgia wasn't exactly the nicest person, but she was for a time a solace in the world of a shy, hormonal teen who thought the world was out to get her.

Now to move to a book series that has literally followed me throughout my life I recently asked my mother to post me my copies from Ireland to Scotland so I can read them again. 

Percy Jackson and the Olympians by Rick Riordan.

Oh, this series. Oh, my heart still burns for this series. The way some folk love Harry Potter is the way I have love for Percy and friends. It opened my world so much! I read the first book and it was like the world just expanded. Cliche? Yes. True? Absolutely. 

This lit the fire that would basically develop in a passion for Greek mythology and the stories of ancient civilization. So much so I studied Greek and Roman Civilization in college for three years. I regularly research myths and retell them in my own way or rework them for a modern lens. Most of the books I read nowadays are retellings of Greek tragedies. Yet I always reach for 'Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief' once a year.

I first read the books when I was 13/14 so not much older than Percy at the beginning of his adventures. I grew with Percy as he grew. As he navigated the world full of gods and monsters, I navigated the world of school and exams, yet I felt we were both undertaking the same battles. These books were ultimately my escape. I wasn't the most academically inclined student, I was rubbish at spelling and grammar and maths, but Rick Riordan created a world where I could escape, characters that like me felt stupid but weren't. It was amazing and still is. Sometimes I wish I could pick up a Percy Jackson book and read it for the first time, yet I still feel in awe when I read it again and again.

I never understood how people could have a passion for fiction until I read the Olympian series. I grew up with this series, reading it right up until I left for college and life got in the way. 

It's one of the only book series I honestly say is my favourite and impacted me as a kid. It sprouted so many interests I didn't even realise were there. The books introduced me to so many diverse characters all from different backgrounds, allowing me to learn more about the world through a book.

If there was one series, I would recommend everyone read, regardless of age, background, interests, it would be the Percy Jackson series. It is a series that is a treasure to the world and was absolutely fundamental to me in the formation of myself. 

I wish to be as sassy as Percy on occasion, but alas I cannot reach his level.

Now we move onto the badass female characters because let's face it. Everyone needed a badass female character in their life, and I was happy with who was mine. 

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins.

Katniss Everdeen with her bow was a shock to the system for young Kay. I went from having girls pining after guys or cutesy relationships developing between friends to her. Katniss was fiery, unafraid to speak her mind, practical, tough, highly skilled with a bow and arrow. She was independent and intelligent. She was everything I wanted to be when I first read the book. Obviously minus the apocalyptic setting.

I didn't care much for the film adaptations that followed, but the books were a welcome change from girly stories to survival with a girl among the fittest. Her character was foreign to me but welcome. I was a stubborn child, smart and wanted to speak my mind from time to time, but I was shy. I didn't understand politics to the degree I do now, and I believe the Hunger Games series provided me with an interest and a gateway to become involved with the world, speak my mind, stand up for what was right. Katniss toppled a classist ruling government, and if she could, so could I. I started small of course, learning more of political movements, educating myself. 

I have yet to topple any governments but hey I'm for independence in Scotland, so any day now, I'm sure.

The Hunger Games rippled through the world when it first came out. I remember being in school reading the sequel and people who I never spoke to before coming up and talking to me about it, and I spoke back excitedly. Again, I was a shy kid, so expressing myself about a book was a big deal. 

Katniss gave me aspects of my moral compass. She showed the ways to help others, be compassionate, to do what was right and needed and be an absolute badass while doing it.

Every young person needs someone to light the fire of righteousness under them, to get them excited for change in their world and help make that change a reality.

As I said previously, as I got older reading became less frequent and more of a chore. I took English in my first year of university and absolutely despised the books I had to read and still do. I read half of ‘Pride and Prejudice’, and I'd be lying to you if I said I had plans to finish reading it.

So, because I was reading books I wanted to read, I fell out of love with them. I didn't know what I loved or wanted. Nothing enticed me. I was unable to read anything through. Until a sci-fi book was recommended to me, and I couldn't put it down. 

172 Hours on the Moon by Johan Harstad.

Originally a Norwegian novel entitled 'DARLAH', this book was my reintroduction into the feeling of reading an amazing book for the first time. I couldn't put it down. I read the book in my second year of university, and once my roommate gave it to me, I believe I read it in two days, staying up to 3 AM one night just to finish it, as I could not bear to put the story on pause. 

A mixture of genres, the book embodies both horror and sci-fi, two genres of any media that have become my favourite. The book was quick paced, exhilarating and at times terrifying. Yet I could not look away. I was compelled to keep reading and to keep on the adventure with the main characters Mia, Midori and Antoine as they navigate the lunar moon base, and things take a turn for the worse. All I say is the book is a slow burner building up tension and then WHAM! 0-100 in a flash!

This book is the kind of film I would love to make. It is so descriptive and creates a world so surreal and beautiful yet scary similar to the moon we see, yet what lurks on the dark side hidden from us?

Body horror is a genre I've been fascinated with since college, and this book quipped that interest. I started toying with ideas similar to that of the book, twisting them to tell my own stories, to create something unique to me. This book helped me create my undergraduate thesis and figure out what type of filmmaker I wanted to be and what kind of stories I wanted to tell and the ways I wanted them to be told.

Nowadays, my book selection varies. I read a lot of nonfiction, from analysing different films to autobiographical tales from political figures or people. I read fiction such as reworkings of Greek myths to fit a modern lens or to bring a new audience to the fascinating tales of an ancient world. 

Right now, I am reading 'Ariadne' by Jennifer Salt, a retelling of the myth surrounding Theseus and the Minotaur but from Ariadne's perspective, who without Theseus would never have had the means to defeat the Minotaur. Even now, a myth I know like the back of my hand still surprises me because I am hearing another voice, a fresh look and it has changed my thoughts and provided new ideas.

Books are important to our growth. Through them you learn about emotions, how the world works, ideas and most importantly yourself. You find yourself in everybody you read. Without the books of our childhood, we wouldn't be us. Characters have grown with us alongside them, navigating the world alongside them, the stories shape us, prepare us in ways we cannot fathom. But they're there, guiding us when needed.

There are so many books not even expressed in this article that I loved growing up. Books that have laid untouched for years on the bookshelf my Grandad built for me when my collection grew and grew. Though untouched, they are books which are loved and which I am thankful for being in my life at one point or another.