The Thing From My Nightmares, But It's Real

Words by Kayleigh Dunne

Art by Amy Louise.

We are entering The Spooky Season.

You know what that means folks. The nights get longer, the pumpkins get carved, the candles get lit and placed everywhere and it's the time of year where you think of the only thing in your life that has ever caused you nightmares and questions your sanity and the sanity of others on a daily basis this holiday season.

I am of course talking of a most terrible creature. One so grotesque, whose voice pierces the night like a banshee scream. Whose chaotic nature makes you fear for your safety every time he appears. Whose unmatching, not aesthetically pleasing colour palette of yellow and pink make you want to close your eyes and never open them again in fear of him being right there always. 

Mr Blobby.

Whoever thought of him should be locked away with the key destroyed. They should be erased from history for the war crime they released on the world.

He was a children's character of pink with yellow spots and a stupid bow tie that was meant to make him look friendly, but had the opposite affect on me.This thing was sadly in the lives of every 90s child. I refuse to believe that there were children that enjoyed that creature's tricks.

My sister had a Mr Blobby doll, and while most children would have feared Chucky, I would have welcomed him. This doll had a hard body and flailing limbs that imitated his unpredictable character on TV. Mr Blobby lived in the room I shared with my sister at the time. On a chair in the corner of the room. The most menacing spot in the room. I was terrified of him. One night I threw him out the door and into the laundry basket and lo and behold, the monster found his way back into the room.

I would have given anything to swap that psycho for Chucky. Every so often I'd be watching kids' shows happy out, not a care in the world and he'd appear. Running all over the place, screeching, looking like he was chasing after helpless victims. No word of a lie, I thought he had weapons at some points. Would he kill you? WHO KNOWS?! He's insane!

My little brain was aghast that this was allowed. People were laughing and jumping with him. I believed I was the only sane person on the planet...well in my house.

The fiend followed me. We moved house, he was there. We watched TV, there he was. He even released music!  I couldn't escape, his soulless, dead eyes piercing mine, wanting me to be his next victim. I knew it, he wanted to hurt me!

I grew up and this nightmare followed. He faded from children's TV, yet whenever I'd feel safe, content that my life was beginning a new chapter away from the horror of pink and yellow when BAM! 

I don't think anyone - fact or fiction - has instilled as much fear in me as that thing. Why does he exist? Why did he follow me constantly? Will the horror ever leave me alone to let me live my life in peace??

The answer to that is no. Even since I started writing this piece, he has appeared. In dreams, in my life. Standing there. Watching. Photos of his blank, staring face gazing at me as if my soul can be snatched through the screen.

He will always be there. He will never fade into the darkness. He will wait.

God help us the day his bloodlust begins. No one will be safe.