Songs Powered by Bluetooth
Words by Dylan Mangan.
The mid-to-late 00’s was a golden era for many things: 3D films, Emo culture, skinny jeans, banks going bust. It was a time of great advancement, as YouTube and Facebook really took off, allowing people to be connected in a whole new way and laying the groundwork for how we interact with the Internet to this day.
This was a time before 3G and 4G, before unlimited data and quick browsing. Using the internet on your phone required time and, more importantly, the ever-elusive credit. Credit was hard to find and easy to lose. It was - to primary school children in Ireland at least - like gold dust. Your parents gave you a tenner for credit only to be used in emergencies to call one of us if you need a lift or something bad has happened. Texting was cheapish, and so you could get away with texting your friends without eating into your balance too much. If you did use it all up after a week or so, your obliging parents would be on hand with another tenner, or maybe a fiver this time, because they couldn’t leave you without the ability to call me if you need a lift or anything bad happens.
The real black hole for credit was ringtones. For just €2.50, the latest chart hit was yours! Or about 30 seconds of it. Full songs were hard to come by and expensive, which brings me to another long lost art of the time - sharing songs with infrared, or if your phone was expensive - bluetooth. Infrared is the only reason I vaguely understand how signals and data transfer works to this day. It was fairly simple - smack the top of two phones together, hit send, wait, wait, wait, and voila! Song went from one phone to another.
If you were lucky, you knew someone who had lots of songs to send around, and every school had songs in circulation. In an act of science (this is the most VICE article I’ll ever write), I’ve reached back into the past and listened back to the songs of the day, the songs we all longed to have on our phones.
Cascada - Everytime We Touch
An absolute classic, to this day. I still know the words, and still want to jump when I hear it. A joy to drunken ears. Bonus points for the 2007 cookie-cutter video. Turning a library into a club with the power of music? Don’t tell me magic isn’t real.
Basshunter - Now You’re Gone
If I had to choose one song to sum up infrared culture (is that a thing?) it would be Now You’re Gone. From the dramatic intro to the slow buildup into that drop, it was the song to have in 2007. That specific synth noise, you know the one - nice.
Hampton the Hamster - The Hampster Dance Song
If any countries out there are looking for a new national anthem, your search ends right here. A chorus anyone could sing along to, dance instructions within the song, what more could you want? On the negative side, it did make me think hamster was spelled hampster for longer than I care to admit.
Crazy Frog - Axel F
I always thought this was a song called Crazy Frog by someone called Axel F. It is not, which raises the question as to why the fuck did a cover of the Beverly Hills Cop theme song get so big, and answers the question as to why every Dad hated the song.
DJ Cammy
Not to be confused with Celebrate the Summer by the same artist, I distinctly remember getting this song on my phone on the same day I first played bangers. I managed to kick an older kid’s ball into the garden you can’t kick a ball into and he pushed me. That was scary, but I had DJ Cammy to console me.
Flo Rida - Low
This was an awkward song to have to sing along to while your voice was breaking. One friend of mine went so low we never saw him again :’( Great song though.
A Massive Gummy Bear - The Gummy Bear Song
He’s a gummy bear, he’s a gummy bear. He’s a yummy, chummy, funny, lucky gummy bear. A masterful example of the animated food song, it’s both annoying and catchy. ‘Boing day ba duty party’ is a lyric in this song, which apparently means the following:
Uh, ok then, that’s a good a sign as any to unplug from the past for now.
